


Waking

by bornforwar_archivist



Series: Sweet Dreams [4]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-31
Updated: 2006-12-31
Packaged: 2020-03-17 06:02:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18959344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bornforwar_archivist/pseuds/bornforwar_archivist
Summary: By Avalon DraculPost "school hard" season 2, spike shows up in sunnydale and someone's tampering with Buffy and Spike's dreams...only in dreams can they be lovers.





	Waking

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Delenn, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Born For War](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Born_For_War), which closed in 2015. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in March 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Born For War collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bornforwar).
> 
> Disclaimer: They aren’t mine. 
> 
> Summery: post 'school hard' season 2, spike shows up in sunnydale and someone's tampering with Buffy and Spike's dreams...only in dreams can they be lovers. 
> 
> Rating: R

“ _Please, just have it done. I just want all this pain to go away." Buffy begged, looking at the blond vampyre who looked down at her, his fangs drawn and his vampyre ridges apparent. “You told me that Slayers get death wishes, well I’ve got mine, please, just kill me so I can stop all the uncertainty, all the pain…_ "   
  
“Slayer—it can’t end that bloody easily! You can’t give up like this, you have to fight it, you have to prove it wrong." Spike told her, looking for any hint of her fire in her eyes. “Bloody hell, Buffy!" he stood up, looking down at her small form, which had started to cry. There was blood splattered all over her clothes, there was a rip at the neckline of her shirt that showed the top of her black bra and her hair spread around her like a golden halo, but it was matted with blood at the top where she’d smashed her head against a wall.   
  
“Fine! You want me to want life?" she threw herself to her feet, her eyes flashing coldly. “I love it! I love every second of it! Every day when I go out and almost get killed, every time that I have to fail a test because the night before I was busy killing your kind! Every time that there’s a new prophesy that says I’m going to die or my friends are going to die or my love is going to die, I fucking love it! Wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t you just be jumping up and down screaming ‘Yay! It’s life!’?" She shrieked. “What teen wouldn’t? I mean I don’t get to go out on dates that don’t end up getting my date killed or maimed or slashed! I don’t get to go to school one full day for the whole of this year! I get to get called at home because I’ve been supposedly messing off while I was out there giving my fucking life for people who would have me expelled or put in jail or a fucking mental institution! Man! My life kicks ass!" she laughed frantically.   
  
_“Buffy, you’re alive, I’d give bloody anything just to be able to go out in the soddin’ sun, or to see a cross and not have to run away." Spike told her, his eyeing. “So you want to bitch and moan about your life well I don’t have one."  
  
“Sometimes I think it’d be better, just to be that, just to be plain evil, so things would be plain and simple again. I mean you go out and you kill things, that’s about all you do, plain and simple, black and white, well I’m living in gray right now, here I am talking to a vampyre who should have killed me, what, ten minutes ago?" she asked.   
  
“It’s not that simple." Spike said shortly.   
  
“No, you know what? It is that simple. For once in my goddamned life it is that fucking simple. I’m a Slayer, you’re a vampyre, and here’s my neck." She ripped aside the other side of her shirt and craned her neck to the side to show it off. “Now take your stupid fangs and shove them into my neck, all right?" she asked, walking towards him so she was an inch away, she raised up on her tip toes and kept her neck to the side. “Bite me."   
  
Spike looked down at her, his human and vampyre face wrestling for dominance over one another as he stared at her jugular. “Please…" he begged, he reached up a hand and ran it along her neck, feeling the pulsing beneath it and ran his tongue across his lips, which were dry and hungry. Slowly he reached down and she closed her eyes, waiting for his fangs.   
  
Instead it were his lips, they ran along her neck to the base where he barely nipped, drawing hardly any blood and he licked it clean, she moaned and he held her by her upper arms, her hands grasped his elbows to keep steady. “Spike…" her voice was lusty.   
  
“Slayer, I want you." he whispered, kissing and nipping and licking. “I want you so bloody much…I love you."   
  
“Buffy!" Angel yelled as he ran into the room. “Buffy, no!" _  
  
  
  
Buffy kept her eyes closed, savoring the dream, which she tried with all her might to keep in her mind. It soothed her, comforted her nerves, kept her stomach from doing the dives that it’s been doing for the past few days. She opened her eyes finally when the dream faded away and her conscience mind came to play, she realized what she’d been dreaming about and bit her lip hard, disgusted with herself. I>Come on, Buffy, you’re the Slayer, you’re supposed to want to kill the bad guy, not kiss him…except Angel, Angel would be good to kiss…very good… With this thought in her mind she stood up and walked across the room to the mirror and looked at herself, she’d been doing this a lot lately, wondering why she felt like this, how he had managed to make her feel like this.   
  
Then she saw the shadow, it was outside the window but she kept her eyes straight, into the mirror. It was definitely a vampyre; she couldn’t see him, only his shadow. He was looking in on her…but who? “I know you’re there." she called over her shoulder, her voice harsh. “Why don’t you just show yourself?" she suggested and turned around, taking in a sharp breath as she found herself face to face with Spike, his eyes were dark blue/black and cut into her, the darkness of her bedroom made what little light in her room dance across his silvery skin and cast eerie shadows across his face.   
  
“I didn’t intend on hiding." He growled.   
  
“Is this a dream?" she whispered, her eyes wide and her stomach flying and dropping and beating her insides out.   
  
“I don’t know." He said, his voice just as uncertain as hers. “I was hoping you could tell me." She felt his unneeded breath tickling her face and she could smell cinnamon, tobacco and blood on him, something that mixed and played with her emotions.   
  
“I don’t think so." Buffy told him. “I think this is real." She couldn’t take her eyes off of him; there was some sort of a connection between the two of them. She didn’t like it but it was there, and it was tangible.   
  
“Hell, I can’t even tell anymore." He admitted to her, his eyes searching for something in her face. “You look like you do in my dreams, Slayer." He reached out a hand and ran it along her cheek, she shivered, it was cold and real.   
  
“And what do I look like?" she asked.   
  
“Perfect." He whispered and then leaned down to her, he was considerably taller than she, he carefully pressed his lips to hers, she remained unresponsive at first but she wasn’t able to keep it, wrapping her arms around his neck she pulled him closer, tasting the odd combination on him, tasting the blood and the cinnamon dancing in him, the tobacco behind it somewhere and something else that she couldn’t describe…something old.   
  
“No." she said shortly and pulled away, shaking her head but her whole body was shaking in cold and confusion. “Spike, William the Bloody, whoever you are, you’re a vampyre…no soul…and you’re bad." She told him.   
  
He chuckled. “Rather generic, don’t you think…’bad’?" he asked. “Buffy, you’re ‘good’, and you don’t see me running away, do you?" he asked. “You’re the bleedin’ Slayer, I shouldn’t be here, I should be at home with Dru, I should be asleep…or hunting…but somehow I just found myself here."   
  
“You hunt, I slay." She reminded him.   
  
“But it’s the same thing." He whispered. “ _We’re_ the same thing, but with different names. I hunt you and you hunt me, we’re Hunters, Buffy, you and me."   
  
“No." she said shortly. “I’m not a killer."   
  
“You _are_ a killer! You kill my kind! You kill things like me, we’re just as bloody human as you are and you kill us! We’re only half daemon, only half evil and you go out there and kill hundreds of me!"   
  
“Then why are we talking?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. “Why aren’t we fighting?"   
  
“I guess the same reason that I want to taste your mouth more then I want to taste your blood." He ran his fingers along her lips, his eyes had a strange hungry look in them that scared her, it wasn’t human. “So you want to go out there and kill and call it Slaying, you do it, hell, I’ll go out there and I’ll kill and I’ll call it hunting, whatever helps you sleep at night." He grinned. “But neither of us have been sleeping that well lately, have we?" he asked. “I can still taste you." he whispered, his eyes wide and dark, on hers. “I can still feel you, all around me, hot…"   
  
Buffy winced. “Why are you making me feel like this? I trust Angel but he trusts you too much. How are you doing this, making me dream of you, making me want you? How are you doing it?" she asked.   
  
“The same way you’re making me want you right now, Buffy." He told her. “Slayer, there’s nothing I want more then to be deep inside you right now, then to make you scream in pleasure as you cum, and you’re the one doing it." He told her. “You’re the one whose making me feel like this, so you can get me close enough to kill."   
  
“I don’t believe you." Buffy told him.   
  
“And I don’t trust you." Spike told her. “I don’t think for a second that you’d let this chance slip you by, you’ve got a gypsy working for you, a powerful one, and she’s the one who is making me dream, making me want you. Make her stop." He grabbed her around the throat and pulled her close, off the floor, she looked at him in fear, a chocking sound escaping her throat. “Make the dreams stop, Slayer, and I’ll leave, is that what you want? You want me gone? I’ll go, just make them stop." He threw her to the ground.   
  
“I can’t." she gasped. “I can’t do it—it’s not me…and it’s not Jenny."   
  
Spike stared at her before he leaned down to her, looking into her eyes, which were wide and angry, full of fire. “Make sure the fire doesn’t go away, Slayer, make sure you keep burning for this." Then he grabbed her around the shoulders and slammed his lips against hers, holding her tightly to him before releasing her breathless. “Because I don’t want my sun to go away."   
  
He jumped to the windowsill and to the grass, disappearing into the shadows.   
  
  
  
“He came to me last night." Buffy told Willow, looking over at the girl who was sitting in a chair on the far side of her room. “He was right here." She pointed to the spot next to where she stood. “He was even more annoying in person than in my dreams." Buffy told her.   
  
“Did he hurt you?" Willow asked, suddenly concerned.   
  
“He grabbed my throat, that’s about it." Buffy said and flopped backwards onto her bed. “Why can’t he just go away?" she asked. “He said that Jenny was the one causing the dreams, do you think she is?" she sat up suddenly. “What if it is? She’s a gypsy, powerful, and she hates all vampyres so what if she hates Vampyre _Slayers_ too?" she looked at Willow excitedly. “So she’s messing with my mind so that she’ll be able to kill me!"   
  
“I don’t think so." Willow stammered. “Jenny’s really nice, I don’t think she’d do something like that."   
  
“It’s always the nice ones you have to be careful of." Jenny’s voice came from the door, the two girls looked up in surprise. “Your mother let me in, I told her that I was a teacher at your school and that I’d come to pick up a project that you’d promised me." She explained. “May I come in or am I automatically the bad guy here?"   
  
“Come in." Buffy said, still a little wary of the teacher. Jenny walked in and awkwardly stood against a wall. Willow automatically stood up and offered the woman her chair, Jenny smiled and took it and Willow perched on the bed next to Buffy who was looking at the floor. “What’s up?" Buffy asked, her voice untrusting.   
  
“Well, don’t worry, I didn’t come to complete any spell or force a potion down your throat, I came to tell you that Spike confronted me two nights ago." Buffy’s head snapped up, Willow’s eyes got wide. “Buffy—he’s in love with you." Jenny said slowly. Buffy looked at her for a moment, there was silence, and then Buffy burst into laughter, not being able to control herself. “No, Buffy, love for a vampyre is a tricky thing…it can often get…twisted." She tried to explain through the teen-ager’s persistent laughter.   
  
“And I’d say the vamp himself is pretty twisted." Buffy said, laughing again. “He—he comes to me last night with this whole ‘lover of the night’ thing going on and whispers sweet nothings in my ear and then he grabs me by the throat and demands that the dreams stop!" she laughed harder, the others really didn’t see what she was laughing about. “See—I’m in love with a vampyre, a different vampyre is in love with me who has an insane lover who is supposedly getting into my dreams and messing with my head and putting her little ‘Spikey’ in mine where he continues his sweet nothings and now I can’t even tell a dream from a reality! He—he comes to me last night and neither one of us knew if it was real or another dream!" she laughed.   
  
“Buffy, this is serious!" Jenny said. “You said he came to you? Then he has admission to your house?" she asked, this shut Buffy up as she looked at the gypsy in realization. “Did you invite him in?"   
  
“No." Buffy said shortly.   
  
“Then how did he get in?" Willow asked, looking between the two who were eyeing each other, it was obvious that there was a silent feud to be settled later. “C-can he just break the rules like that?"   
  
“No." Jenny said. “He needs an invitation." She glanced at the redhead and smiled sympathetically, she was scared and the computer teacher knew what it was like to be afraid—especially of this vampyre in particular.   
  
“I didn’t invite him in." Buffy insisted. “You said he was powerful so couldn’t he just powerful his way into here or something?" Buffy glanced at the window that he’d come through. “I don’t know, maybe it _was_ just a dream." She moved her hand to her throat and rubbed a soar spot where he’d grabbed her. “But it was so real…"   
  
“There is, on rare occasions, a break in the law." Jenny said finally. “It’s never been tested but there is a spell…"   
  
“Of course! He cast a spell that would get him across the barrier!" Buffy said, relieved.   
  
“No, there is no direct spell to get across the barrier but there is a spell that would enable him to separate his two psyches and maybe if a vampyre is able to do that then he could break the laws to being one." Jenny tried to explain.   
  
“Huh?" Buffy said dumbly.   
  
  
  
“See, the spell would separate his waking psyche and his sleeping psyche, but both would have a body. Some people think that if you sleep deeply enough than you loose your conscience psyche altogether, but they don’t know where it goes. There is a theory that perhaps the conscience one is thrown from the sleeping form and with it will go the waking mind. The mind has a set perception of what it looks like, what it smells like, tastes like, feels like, everything, so the waking mind would, and again this is all theory, create a duplicate of itself which would be just as real as the sleeping one. It is called Transduplication."   
  
“Giles, I think I speak for all of us when I say you’re a bit dork and ‘huh’?" Xander said, looking at Giles in a blank stupor, as did the other two teenagers who were seated around the library table later that day.   
  
“Look, basically it’s being two places at once but you are only conscience in one place." Giles said, the looks of confusion lessened.   
  
“But that’s impossible!" Willow exclaimed. “It breaks every rule in the book!"   
  
“Yes, well, magick has a habit of doing that." Giles said, a small smile on his face. “See, if William the Bloody was able to…" He trailed off as Buffy started to laugh. “What is it?" he asked.   
  
“His name is Spike, William the Bloody just sounds so—British." She laughed.   
  
“Yes, and ‘Spike’ has a ring of total normality." Giles said tiredly. “Very well, if _Spike_ was able to split his psyches then he would make a body that would be just as he perceives it, which would probably outlaw all the rules to being a vampyre because the mind always uses first perceptions and his first perception would be…"   
  
“Living." Buffy finished. “But, Giles, he was so…cold." She trailed off, shivering when she remembered his touch, and his sent.   
  
“Yes, well, I didn’t say I was right. This is all theory. It has never been tested." He closed a book he had in his hand and threw it on the table, startling all the people seated, Jenny looked over from where she sat behind the computer at Giles’ desk, Giles had never used it but it was better there than on the library table so if Willow wanted to do some illegal researching no one else could see what she was doing. “You try to explain why a bloodsucking fiend had entry to a Slayer’s house without an invitation." Giles said coldly.   
  
“Look, Giles, I’m sorry…" Buffy said, a little hurt. “I was just saying that.“   
  
Giles took off his glasses and rubbed his nose, squinting his eyes as he looked across the room before he replaced them. “I’m sorry." He said slowly. “It’s been a long day, that slithering snake Schneider has been breathing down my back all day and I am quite tired." He said. “You say he felt cold? Well, perhaps he-he just had cold hands. He only touched you when he grabbed you around the throat, right?" he asked.   
  
Buffy looked down at the table. “Yea, that’s right."   
  
“Buffy, this is important, did you have any other contact with him?" Jenny asked, standing up and realizing that Buffy was lying.   
  
“That was it." Buffy insisted. “He came in, he told me to stop the dreams, he grabbed my throat and threw me on the ground and ran away." She relayed, standing up. “I have a lot of homework I didn’t finish that I need to finish now so as soon as you guys figure out what happened and how to stop it, find me." She walked out of the library angrily.   
  
“Yes, well, she seemed rather perky." Giles said and turned back to the remaining three people. “Jenny, can you find the exact spell for Transduplication?" he asked.   
  
“Oooh!" Willow exclaimed. “I knew I heard that word before! I was going through some books the other day for a history project, it’s about the Salem Witch Hunts, did you know that over eight thousand women in America were…"   
  
“Wills? The spell?" Xander reminded her.   
  
“Oh yea, sorry." Willow blushed. “Anyway I saw that word when I was going through some of the occult things, I think it was in a biggish green book in the back, I can’t remember what it was called." She told Giles.   
  
“Score one for the Willow!" Xander said and gave her a high five. “So, what is it, midnight study session? Do we have to set up an elaborate plan to sneak out of our houses so we can experiment with the spell and see if it works? Can I…"   
  
“If you can find the book, Willow, I think Jenny and I can take it from here." Giles interrupted Xander.   
  
“Occult? Spells?" Schneider said from the doorway. “What is this, a cult?" he walked in, seething. “Because that is one thing I will not tolerate…as well as murders, missing people and smoking." He told them.   
  
“Cult?" Giles sputtered. “No, we were just going over Willow’s history project on the Salem Witch Hunt." He told the principal.   
  
“Ye-yes." Willow sputtered. “M-my project is due on Tuesday and I-I’m not quite finished."   
  
Schneider looked around the room warily, his eyes fell on Jenny. “You I haven’t seen around this group, Calendar, deciding you wanting in on my bad graces?" he asked narrowly.   
  
“I was working on Mr. Giles’ computer." She said and hurried behind his desk, switching it on and sitting in the chair. “He said there was a bug."   
  
“What about you, Harris?" he turned to Xander. “Since you enjoy cutting classes so much then why are you here working on a project that isn’t even yours?" he snapped.   
  
“I—sir—have a good excuse for missing those classes—which I—don’t have—right now. But—I—I don’t smoke." He stuttered, his eyes wide.   
  
Schneider looked around. “Get away from this group while you can, Calendar, they’re bad news." He said, turning and walking away. They all breathed in relief.   
  
  
  
“Buffy, honey, can I talk to you for a second?" Buffy’s mom called as she walked into the house later that day. Buffy sighed, setting down her bag, took a deep breath and tried to act perky.   
  
“Hi, mom! What’s up?" she asked and set herself on a chair in the kitchen. There were boxes all around the room, another art opening.   
  
“Buffy, can you tell me what this is?" Joyce set a stake on the counter, Buffy just stared at it.   
  
“M-mom, where did you get that?" she asked, her whole demeanor darkening. Could this day get any worse?   
  
“I found them with these." She set out a crossbow, a bottle of holy water and three more stakes. _Bingo. Day just got worse_. “Why do you have weapons in your room, Buffy? I thought your fighting days were over! I trusted you enough to not nag you about what you do in your spare time but _weapons_?" Joyce looked at her, her eyes searching.   
  
“You want to know the truth, mom?" Buffy said, fed up with this day. “I am a vampyre Slayer, one girl each generation is born with the strength and skill to hunt the vampyres and stop the spread of evil, that’s what I am, that’s why I burnt down the gym, because it was full of vampyres! That’s why I’m late out at night, I patrol the cemetery! And you know what I skip school? Because there’s some sort of daemon or vampyre or ghost or _something_ evil waiting for me to fight it! I’m a good kid! I didn’t want any of this to happen to me! I was chosen by a secrete society of Watchers to be what I am and Giles, the librarian, is my Watcher! Willow and Xander help me fight and Angel is a vampyre!" Buffy was breathing hard by the time that she finished, her eyes on fire.   
  
“You march right up to your room, young lady, you are _grounded_!" Joyce exclaimed, Buffy gave a yell of anger and ran up the stairs, slamming her door. She leaned her back against it and slid down, tears prickling her eyes, she sobbed.   
  
Why did her life have to suck so badly? Why couldn’t she just be a normal teenager with normal teenager problems? Why did she have to lie to her mother and why did she have to fail school and loose friends because of all of this? When would it get easier? When would everything clear up?   
  
_Never_. She realized. _It’s never going to magically go away, it’s never going to clear up, you are doomed to forever be this…this…freak that has no life except patrolling the cemetery for VAMPYRES! When they chose you to be the Slayer they doomed you to die young and not live a life at all, they doomed you to die._  
  
Sobs racked her small body, her shoulders shook with each one, her hair clung to her neck and face and her clothes suddenly felt very hot and heavy. The air all around her heated up and she began to sweat.   
  
  
  
Spike shed the covers on top of him, feeling tenseness and heat around him, he usually didn’t feel any temperature but now he felt hotter then he had in a hundred and twenty-three years. Dru looked at him groggily from where she lay in bed. He looked over at her and smiled assumingly, she closed her eyes and instantly fell back to sleep.   
  
Spike lay on his back, waiting for the sudden heat to dissipate, waiting for the numbing coldness to come back, the same numbing coldness that he always felt…the same for all his years.   
  
  
  
Buffy threw herself on her bed, burying her face in her pillow and sobbing harder. She wanted the whole world to fall away but none of it would comply.   
  
She cried.


End file.
